Trying to turn molehills into mountains: The tragedy at Terrapin

The first thing I thought when I signed up for the Terrapin Mountain 50k was, "man, I need to do more hill work."

So I did. I ran up and down the tiny little hills of western new york at sub seven minute pace every week- boosting my confidence and supposedly preparing my body. Zach was feeling good. Then I saw the mountain.


Julia and I arrived in Sedailia Virginia just a little past 7:30 pm to set up camp and head in for the night. When I got out of the car and looked at the Mountain my heart sank a little bit. "That might be a different mountain... Yeah. Were probably just running a portion of it. Piece of cake."


My friend Nick (an ultra running FREAK) had already set up his tent when we arrived and within minutes of us embracing he pointed to the very mountain that I had seen and dreaded and said, "Thats Terrapin. Thats what were running tomorrow." Now my heart was somewhere in my scrotum.

The lack of preparation doesn't end there. I was running in a water belt that I had never worn before in my life,  smart wool socks on a day that turned out to be 70 degrees, and  a long sleeve rossignol ski top.  I also decided to wear New Balance Minimus sneakers- which on such a rugged terrain (compared to the trails in WNY) tore my feet up. I was screaming obscenities alone on the trail hoping that Ibuprofen would fall from the sky like manna from heaven. Or even just a pair of conventional shoes? God? Are you listening to me?

Oh, but you wanted to hear about my race? Here it goes.

I actually started out a nice moderate pace, hanging in the middle of the pack, sipping water, being a socialite.

I stayed with Nick til about mile 10- when he got into his race mode, lost connection with all things that surrounded him and turned on the after burners. Nick finished top ten.

Julia had a busy morning asking all people associated with the race where she could come meet up with me and help pace for a few miles. The race director advised her to drive to the first aid station up the road and go from there. She picked me up at around mile 6 and ran with me. Straight uphill. Needless to say, her legs were hurting that next day.

With Nick and Julia at my side I felt great. The ground was soft and the jagged stones were few at that point. I was moving 9 minute pace up most of the hills and clocked at top speed of 6:14 minute miles down the hills we had just ascended.

At mile 11 Julia and Nick were both gone and the course got harder. It was very humbling knowing that in order to survive the event- lots of walking needed to be done. Looking at my GPS watch seeing the pace come up as 17:41 miles is disheartening. Then you step on a rock and you want to scream. I did that for about 4 more hours.

I met some very interesting people on the course. Some professors from Liberty college, a 21 year old VT college student who was in their ultra marathon club (which was stacked might I add), and man from North Carolina with a thick accent and lots of ultra marathon stories. Those were the people that pushed me through this event. Had I been alone for that long, despair would have set in and the wheels would have fallen off.

The aid station volunteers were also a crucial element of this race. They were like angels- through the combination of the heat, altitude change, and exhaustion they all looked like they were glowing to me. That was my cue to rehydrate. In ultras, glowing lights are bad- unless its the finish line of an event that spans the entire day.


In summary- heres my race. I was unprepared. I wore stupid clothes. Wrong shoes. I met cool people. Had amazing support. Ate a phenomenal dinner that night. Drank 2 beers. It felt like 12. Got a cool tee shirt. The end.

The lesson learned here is this:

You may be able to substitute avocado for butter in a baking recipe, but you cannot substitute hills for mountains when it comes to an ultra marathon recipe.

Peace out- and always remember to run your own race.

Photos courtesy of Julia Smith :) My pacer of both the Terrapin Mountain 50k and Beast of Burden 50 miler. She also drove me home after this race. Props.

Who really wins an Ultra Marathon

Although the records only list the names of the runners crossing the finish line at an Ultra Marathon, it would be wrong to say that anyone did it alone. I'll speak for myself.

From as long as I can remember, my parents were always telling me that I could do anything I wanted to. I would test this, " So Mom and Dad, your saying that I could be an astronaut AND paleontologist that plays in the NBA for the Orlando Magic?" 

The answer was always the same- "If thats what you really want to do, then yes." So when I told my parents that I was running a 50 mile race in January, they supported me 100%. When I saw them and my friend Julia holding signs for me at the 38.5 mile mark I thought to myself, "This is what it's all about." 

I've also been blessed with amazing friends who have always had my back. I mean, three of them showed up to run 20 miles with me in a windchill of sub 10 degrees. My friends are all working their butts off to achieve their goals- and thats what keeps me cracking at mine. We don't need to coddle each other, we just tip our hats and know we've done our best. 

The friend who inspired me to do these races is always there with me on the course, in my jacket or pockets of my shorts. I hold a picture of him, and the picture reminds me of how much he would tease and haggle me if I even entertained the thought of quitting. He was always a ball buster. Although he has passed on, he is very present in my darkest and most lonesome moments of these races.

So who wins an Ultra Marathon? I'll tell you.

Your family.

Your friends.

People who you see struggling in life, but push on despite the pain.

Young couples trying their best to be great parents.

Friends who have passed on. 

The race volunteers. The people taking photos of you. The people who at mile 50 ask, "wanna do a jello shot?"

The stranger in your life that tells you to push on.

The little engine who COULD.

Your failed romantic pursuits/disappointments/etc.

Then you. 

And thats the cold truth. 

BEAST OF BURDEN 50 mile race Jan 18th 2014 :) Thank you race volunteers, directors, and new friends!

photos compliments of kino : (http://www.kinosfault.com) Thanks a ton!

A very special thank you to the dashing whippets running team and all those who accomplished the beast or helped make the beast happen!
Joe Del Conte
 Kenneth Tom
Lisa Cao
 Kat Uba Bermudez 
Otto Lam 
Tiger Ellen
 Jim Pease 
 Beth Buchanan Pease- thank you soooooo much for the jello shot and all your help during the race :) 

Sweat the big stuff

Your out pushing your body to the max, in the office getting screamed at by your boss, waiting in the surgery waiting room for a loved on, trembling at a desk while your final board exam is handed out. A bead of sweat drips down your forehead. Its on.

Many days of the week I can't tell you what I ate for breakfast, maybe thats because I wasn't sweating. Many people say, "ew" to sweat, but I say, "ah ha! sweat!" Sweat is uncomfortable, its sticky, moist and smells bad. But there is nostalgia attached- sweat happens because of something. Your senses are heightened, your blood flows and change is needed (like get me out of these clothes). Sweat occurs when your body is in some sort of overdrive, whether it be due to the stress of physical activity or anxiety. 

When I sweat, I remember. I remember great times of physical achievement,  times when I was terrified and times that took a combination of all my mental and physical strength to get through. So its true, "don't sweat the small stuff" if the small stuff isn't worth a sweat. Sweat the big stuff. The good stuff. The stuff worth sweating over. The stuff you care about. 

You won't forget it. 

7 reasons why you should run an ultra marathon

7  Reasons why you should buck up, lace up those sneakers, and run until you can't feel your legs. AKA an ultra marathon.

Reason # 7. Because everyone will think you are crazy:

Its true, people will think your nuts. But this is a step up in the world. Last week, they didn't even know your name.

Reason # 6. Because your parents will tell you they are proud of you:

Though they will most likely question your decision, harp on you while training, and even tell you repeatedly that they, "don't think this is healthy"- they will most likely come around in the end and say what you did was pretty cool.

Reason # 5. You don't want to be the 1%:

As occupy wall street taught us, the 1% is the problem. According to statistics roughly 1% of the US population has ran a marathon. Don't be the 1%. 

Reason # 4. When its over- you can eat anything you want:

Thats right, when your done you can eat an entire Pizza, tub of ice cream, and pound of french fries and still not gain a pound. You probably won't, but you could. And thats pretty great. (oh you get to eat DURING the race too!)

Reason #3. Because you will get an awesome shirt/hat thats lets everyone know how hardcore you are:

Its like wearing your high school letterman jacket, or your biker jacket, or gang colors. People see what your wearing and know that your cool. Ultra marathon tee shirt with matching hat? Instant conversation starter.

Reason #2. Because people of the opposite sex will find you more attractive:

Maybe its the idea that your intense, or really fit, or that you just have a few screws loose- but people will find your amazing feat sexy. At least initially. And then they will totally forget about it. 

Reason #1. Because it FEELS SO RIGHT.

Nothing compares to the sense of accomplishment you feel when finishing an ultra. Your worn, battered and bruised, but you cross that finish line with a big smile across your face. If the marines are right and, "Pain is weakness leaving the body", then you lose a lot of weakness after an ultra marathon. The biggest battles are mental, the biggest hills are physical, but the biggest drive is spiritual. So lace up those boots and keep on keeping on. 

Hey there-

Its December 21st and amazon has just notified you that your Christmas gifts will be coming in on the 27th... Don't fret! Run out to the nearest pharmacy to pick out a crappy Christmas card, grab a generic gift card (maybe one for a gas station) and slap in one of these original Christmas themed raps. I've got something for everyone!




A rap for the overworked and underpaid Santa Claus

Merry Christmas dear Santa, I hope your feeling stupendous
I loved your gifts for me last year, the fruit cake was tremendous
I'm sure your busy as ever, making toys for the world
Just wanted to make sure I'm still listed with the good boys and girls
Ive done volunteer work and been a help to my mother
Ive donated my clothing- read the bible cover to cover
I'm sure that you know this, I must not build up myself
you've most likely been told by that troll on the shelf
If you can't find my list, I still accept cash
I'm praying this year that you have no sleigh crash!



A rap for your mother who is hosting a huge Christmas party

Happy Holidays Mother- I hope your feeling so jolly
I'm excited to see the house covered in holly
Your cookings the best- better than those old foagies
Your signature hams and your trademark pierogis
They scent the air splendidly, for 6 hours at least
Its keeps my mind focused on our succulent feast!
Can I bring something this year, I could offer some wine?
Last year uncle Harry brought straight turpentine.
And aunt Betties bread stuffing was so bitter and dry
I chewed it so hard that I started to cry
But their efforts are pure, its all the intention
Maybe it'll be better this year, Oh- and I'd like to mention
That my girlfriends name is Megan- even though you say Meagan
And were bringing our own food- we've both become vegan.



This rap is for a family member that you hardly ever see, but shows face at the Christmas Party. You know they have a job, but are unsure of what it is. They may or may not be in a relationship. They own a brown dog. Everything else is a mystery.

Merry Christmas my friend, such a long time its been,
I hope your years been filled with cheer- but if not, a new ones on the bend.
Hope your jobs going swell, seem to remember you really like it.
I planned on buying you a sweater but are you still comfortable in tight fit?
I look for forward every Christmas to the fact we'll be meeting
are you still dating that guy- oh geez my memory is fleeting.
You either told me he's, "the one" or that he's a massive tool
Either way he's so lucky to have you- because you are really cool!
And that little dog of yours, I can't remember the breed
That little brown one that you dress up and shows in my news feed.
I hope that Santas good to you, I have a feeling you've been nice.
Now how about that weather- steer clear of black ice!
My holiday letter is coming to a conclusion
my name is Zach- talk to me this year and clear up all this confusion! :0




A rap for a girlfriend/boyfriend that you really like- but know the relationship is headed nowhere. You won't break up with them now, its the holidays and thats cruel, but you want a Christmas card that doesn't send too many mixed signals-yet is still somewhat kind.


Merry Christmas to you sweetie, what a year it has been
I'm so lucky to know you, your a really good friend.
We've had so many moments that were more than acceptable
And I love that your job is somewhat respectable.
When we go to the movies and you buy snacks for munching
I've totally gotten used to the sound of food crunching
But thats what you makes you-you, and I fully accept it
And what I got your for Christmas, you wouldn't expect it
Im
so happy your mother invited me to your kins celebration
But i'll have to decline such a kind invitation
You see my family believes in the the strongest tradition
Hide a pickle on the tree, and to find it is the mission
It would break my Dads heart if I were to neglect the pickle
You see he's very old-fashioned, some say that he's fickle
Give your dad a high five for me, your mother a hug
And I hope to the heavens you didn't buy me a Pug.

The beauty of nonsense

The older I get- the less nonsense that occurs in my life.

I haven't gone to the grocery store and bought 5 pounds of hamburger meat and a loaf of bread to make a massive hamburger in years. I haven't put on funk music and danced around a trash can in a while either. I didn't even drive out to a friends house this halloween to steal a pumpkin...sigh.

My life is now linear- do this for that. While reflecting recently about my friend who has passed, I realized that we had our most memorable times while carrying out nonsense. He had asked me to work with him on a farm during the weekends, I had already had a job and wasn't terribly farm savvy, but I decided to do it. It made no sense at the time, but I was 17. Lots of things I did made no sense.

I would wake up early after working my other job the night prior and go pick up my friend for our days chores. We would pull cat tails out of the pond,  re-gravel the driveway, pull weeds from the garden, cut the acres of lawn, and we even put up some vine posts for a vineyard they were going to be start. The work was rewarding, but the fun we had kept me coming back every weekend. It was in those times of nonsense when my friend would chase me with the "gator" 4 wheeler, or hide my lunch in the tool shed, or try to get me to fight another co-worker at the farm that I got to know my friend so much better.

My point is that we should all keep doing nonsense, stay young. My 17 year old brain made a decision that might not have made sense at the time- but it certainly does now. Times of nonsense are where you will form your best memories and truly connect with people. Let your guard down, don't take yourself too seriously, "acuna matatta".

Why I like running- and why you can too.

Why I like running- And why you can too.

I like running because its the best therapy for the price, the gym with the best hours, and the adventure thats nearest my door.

In a modern age where "connections" are how many people are able to view your social or business networking profile, and food comes from a grocery store, and writing a paper means sitting at a computer and typing out paragraphs while surfing the web for legitimate (or so you hope) references- we all feel a little removed from the reality of what it is that we are really doing.

Running is different. The connection is primal. Your feet. The ground. Boom.

Sure the surfaces and shoes have changed over time but your missing the point!

You go from a warm bed, to a climate controlled car, to a school or office with lights, and your body is at ease. Its comfortable. This amazing gift that has evolved over millions of years just exists, in pleasure.

While running you leave the world of complete control and enter into chaos. If your in a park, a beautiful natural chaos. Turn off your music player and just soak in the moment, absorb all the sensations taking place. Your body is no longer at ease- its in full flight.

Don't forget to pack with you your frustrations and anxiety. Bring them, and then let them go. I can say I have never solved a problem while running, but I can come to accept things that I cannot change while running.

Some people run as fast as they can, some jog, and some walk. But I truly believe that when they return from their daily adventure- they are glad they went. :)


So lace up- and don't ever run somebody else's race